I am 5"6, eight weeks pregnant with my second child, and I weigh 189 lbs.
I calculated my BMI on one of those helpful websites the other day and my BMI was 31, which puts me in the obese category.
Devastated.
Not that I wasn't aware of my predicament, but when you see yourself labeled in the worst possible category for fitness and health you lose all concept of what you actually think about your body and start thinking of the worst case scenarios.
Obese AND pregnant...really? Awesome. I guess in other terms you could just categorize my situation as "fat and gonna get fatter". I have to say that I was really hesitant about getting pregnant again because of my weight, but let me first explain how I got to this situation in the first place. (Not the pregnant part, at least...we all went through 7th grade already, right?).
I began my first pregnancy at 5"6 and 160 lbs.
Not perfect, but good enough. Soon after I found out I was pregnant, I began talking to friends and family about weight gain during pregnancy. Let me list the five most common things and I heard from women who had been pregnant to help you understand where my mind was.
1. "You are eating for two now! Have as much as you want."
Nope. I found out later that if you eat for two, you end up looking like two people stuck in one person's sweat pants after the baby comes.
2. "Oh, I gained 50 lbs with each of my kids and lost it all, don't you worry."
Uh uh. That is extremely rare and not the norm for most women.
3. "Pregnancy is a time to enjoy yourself..eat what you want."
Wrong. At least the pairing of those two sentences in the same piece of advice.
4. "You'll lose it all breast-feeding."
Really? I fully believe in breast-feeding, but most of my friends actually gained weight during that time because they were so hungry.
5. "You probably just have a really big baby in there, I wouldn't worry about your weight."
I wish. Those cute little babies come out somewhere between 5-9 lbs, not 45-55 lbs.
So I ended up going from 160 lbs to 215 lbs, a total of 55 lbs the day before my sweet son came and I have been struggling with my weight ever since then.
Granted, I took my own bad eating habits and bad food decisions into that pregnancy and I blame no one but myself for my weight gain, but I would have loved hearing this instead:
1. "You are eating for one with a snack on the side."
2. "Shoot for 25 lbs. You can do it!"
3. "Pregnancy is a time to give your body what it needs...eat as healthily as you can!"
4. "Put the work in now so that you can enjoy your body when the baby comes."
5. "Keeping your weight under control will help you love your growing belly, not resent it."
I have seen so many "get your body back" posts out there that assume that you are going to put on more weight than you want but just deal with it later in stead of teaching how to not get to that point in the first place. And I want to also point out that I am not a hater. I think pregnancy is miraculous, divine, and a calling for each woman in this life, but obesity, unfortunately, is not. And the fact that the two have now become linked for me inspired me to write this blog in the first place. So instead of coming across as some pregnancy-hater, I'd like to make it clear that I know there is a better way than what I was told and I'd like to change the pregnancy culture out there right now from "get fat and deal with it" to "work hard and do it right."
SO here's my point. I want this blog to be a place where I can sort through all the trials and troubles of pregnancy and weight gain from a fresh perspective. I hope other women who are struggling with being overweight and obese while pregnant can read this blog and feel like it is a safe place to really think about what it means to love being pregnant and to not lose yourself in the struggle of weight gain.
So here's to second chances. :)
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With my first I ended my pregnancy at 234 lbs-gaining 50 lbs-doing all those things you shouldn't...eating for two, breastfeeding will be your savior, etc. and I was miserable during and after about the way I looked. With my second I was active, ate much better and gained only 20 lbs and was motivated to get the rest off after. With the third I was a mix of the two and gained 40 lbs and found it harder to be motivated at the end (although I did). I do think that when you're pregnant, you can live a little-but the mentality definitely needs a shift to being active and smart instead of lazy and do what you want. I'm excited for you to have another cute baby and excited to follow your journey.
ReplyDeleteLIZ!!! So first of all, I'm going to just say that the BMI scale is super faulty and way off. YOU ARE NOT OBESE. Seriously. At 175 lbs and 6 feet tall, it puts me in the overweight category. It's totally off, it's been manipulated over the years by insurance companies, and it was never meant to be used on a large scale.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you are beautiful, and have an amazing body that brings new life into this world! Appreciate that! Love your body for more than how it looks! Research has shown that women who have a more positive body image take better care of it in the long run--so the first step is loving YOU and your body right now!
Third, healthy eating and exercise are definitely the way to go! I applaud you for speaking up about some of the lies that pregnant women are told that just lead to exactly what you outlined here. I love that you are calling for a change! You definitely know how to lead others with your example. Healthy living choices are essential, but they have to be for more than how you look. Aim to be healthy and feel good, and not just an arbitrary number on a scale.
I know I can't really say much, since I've never been pregnant, and maybe you disagree with some of the things I've said, but Liz, you are an amazing and brave woman, and I fully support you and look forward to reading more about your journey and your cute baby!