Weighing in on mid-wives: A Thanksgiving Miracle

    I can't believe Thanksgiving is over already! I am really relieved. You see, most people look forward to Thanksgiving, but when you are pregnant, Thanksgiving, and the Holiday Season in general can be incredibly intimidating. Not only are you trying hard to fight off the urge to overeat, but now you're doing it while being surrounded by 20 other people who have no desire to hold back! I found out I was pregnant with this little looker two weeks before thanksgiving in 2011:

    So, naturally, I took this approach to Thanksgiving Dinner that year:

   And I was terrified of having the same experience again, only 25 lbs heavier this time. NOT GOOD! Luckily, I had an awesome appointment with my mid-wife at the very beginning of this pregnancy that has shaped my view of weight gain to what it is now. Lemme tell ya 'bout it.
   About a week after finding out I was pregnant, I was having really bad cramping. Like, hold-your-sides-and-stop-breathing type of cramps. I have miscarried before so I was absolutely terrified and set up an appointment at the closest ob/gyn's office that took my insurance. Jess and I are new in this town and didn't have a baby doctor picked out, so I decided to try this one out.
   I had heard people talk a lot about mid-wives and how wonderful they are, but every time I thought about them, this is what I pictured:

   Everything I heard about them sounded a little hokey and I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable going that route for my first. So, instead, I went to a clinic that had several different doctors(I saw 6 total during that pregnancy) and here's what that felt like:

   If you don't get my humor on this one, its ok. I'll elaborate. I think if you have ever been pregnant you can easily relate to the cow metaphor, for more than one reason...especially if you have ever used a breast pump. Just sayin'. But the reason I think of this picture when I describe what its like being seen by so many doctors in one clinic is because you feel like a bunch of cattle being rounded up! Or at least I did. But let me explain it more simply. Here's the cons to rotating doctors in a clinic:

1. It can take forever to get in.
      My husband and I waited sometimes 45 min after our set appointment time.
2. They have already seen (depending on the time of day) lots and lots of whiny pregnant women before you and start to lose their sensitivity.
      Especially the nurses in those places! "You've put on 5 lbs. What are you eating??"
3. You get lost in a sea of files.
    My doctor-of-the-day would glance over my file for about 30 seconds. Thats it.
4. They are either too harsh or too lenient on your weight gain, depending on the day.
    Lets hope the lady before you didn't put on too much weight and whine a lot, or you're in trouble! :)
5. You get different personalities/experience with each doctor.
     Some of them would sit and talk sports with my husband after I had just asked them how to deal with my sinus infection. Awesome?

   That being said, or complained, there were lots of great men and women there who were kind, and good at what they did. And yes, you can choose to have just one doctor that sees you every time if you don't want to be switched around for each appointment. Here's my advice for those of you that are overweight/obese and trying to decide on a doctor: GO WITH A MID-WIFE!
   I'm finally getting to my story about why I think mid-wives are the best choice for someone like me. I waited in the room until my mid-wife opened the door, really nervous because I felt like I already looked 5 months pregnant from my previous weight gain. I was hoping maybe we would skip that subject all together. But, in my usual fashion, my nerves took over and half-way through our "family history of diseases chat" I blurted out, "So I am already overweight and I don't want to put on much and actually I would really like to LOSE weight during this pregnancy.....(pause for breathing)...is that ok??"
   I kind of winced after realizing that I just told my mid-wife I wanted to lose weight while pregnant when I heard her softly say, "Sure. I think thats a great idea."
Say WHAT?
Did she actually just agree with me? Yup. With only two stipulations. That I was losing weight because I was eating healthier and that the baby was measuring where it should be measuring.
Can I get a HALLELUJAH? Or maybe an AZOOGA?

  Telling your baby doctor that you want to lose weight is like telling your high-school guidance counselor that you want to go to beauty school. They immediately panic and devise a plan to change your evil ways. Now granted, dieting during pregnancy is a no-no. I mean like starve yourself, then run five miles kind-of-dieting, and for obvious reasons.
   But watching your eating and trying to let your body use pregnancy to reset itself into a pattern of health and happiness is great. So, she went on to use some words that have been like swear-words to me since I had my first son.....Food Diary, Cardio, and Vegetables. Oh, vegetables..we meet again! And I have to admit, I already started regretting telling her that I wanted to lose weight or gain a minimal amount because when I saw her drawing out a weight-gain "map" I was like, "Oh no you di'nt!" But in my mind, I said it like this:

  Can I just say that I typed in the words, "Sassy woman" into Google Images and got this? Perfect. She is my hero. And if you wonder why I post so many random pics, its to help you visualize where I'm coming from. See? Didn't this pic totally explain how a chubby prego lady would react to words like "vegetables" and "weight gain map"? Uh huh!
  So, ahem, I was already starting to regret this new philosophy of not giving in to weight gain during pregnancy and setting myself up to be accountable. Then I realized that not taking this approach the first time gave me the extra 25 lbs I am lugging around now(on top of my 25 lb son, that is). In fact, I can vividly remember weighing in during my first pregnancy and calculating in my head that I had put on 45 lbs and was still a month away from my due date. The doctor and nurse said NOTHING! And, in fact, at my half way point(20 week check up) I had already put on 25 lbs, which is considered the normal overall weight gain for a healthy women. I was there at 20 weeks!! Maybe the lady in this pic was in there right before me and the doctor was too exhausted to deal with that again...at both check ups?? Sure.
   What is the moral of this story? I can say with pride that I have not gained a single pound so far. I am ten weeks pregnant. I know that doesn't sound really miraculous and I know that won't be the case the whole time, but at this point last time, I had already gained 10 lbs. YUP. So, bring it on, Christmas! Thanks to an amazing mid-wife who really cares, I think I can do this. I think I can, I think I can...:)


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Prego Workouts: To Take it Easy, or Not to Take it Easy?

   Thanks to everyone who read my blog! Its been really interesting to read your comments and responses. Keep them coming!
   Since my last post was a little on the heavy side(pun intended), I decided to lighten this one up a bit...Let me just start off with some of my favorite funnies about exercising and we'll go from there. 

     Yup. So I love Zumba. I really do. But its actually one of my favorite past times at the gym to, rather than participate in Zumba, watch everyone else through the glass and burn some calories laughing. And I mean that in the kindest way because we all know that we don't look like "that" girl. And its ok. But it can be frustrating and down right humiliating trying to "shake what your momma gave ya" when most of it just shakes on its own ANYWAY! 
     I went to an aerobics class the other day and I spent most of the time trying to keep my pants from falling off, re-adjusting my EVERYTHING so I felt more comfortable, all while trying to not step on the hottie pa-tottie 60 year-old Asian lady beside me who looks like she just did an episode of Dancing With the Stars. Most of my sweating came from trying to not get run over and hauling my son back and forth from daycare. But, I still love it and will still do it. I might get me one of those tutu's though. Jim Carey is rockin' one.

    Aaah, yoga. You know, yoga is wonderful. You get to wear spandex in uncomfortable positions and everyone is ok with it. Do you know that they actually have sweat-yoga sessions? Like filling the room with hot vapor so you sweat more? So now you're in tight clothes, in uncomfortable positions, sweating profusely. TOTAL LABOR PREPARATION! In fact, I think you're even allowed to grunt now too...so maybe let your husband in on one of your classes just to get a taste of the glory before it happens!

    Aaah, running. My long, lost friend. I love running. Even though my muffin top, pterodactyl wings, and jelly belly give me away, I actually ran a marathon a few years ago. See?

    You better believe I posed for this. Do I look hardcore? Cuz I think I actually had to pee. And if you have ever run any race you know that your life revolves around when you have to pee. But apparently, it gives you a stellar sense of athleticism. 

    So, what happened? Well, you know that part already. Minus the weight I put on after this with the stress of planning a wedding. Ya feel me? But, I had a little reminder of how I got to where I am now the other day. I was on the treadmill and I set my resistance at 2 and my speed at 3 and I was booking it! (If any of you are familiar with treadmills, this was like a glorified, granny walk, like the ones you see at the mall.) Ok, so I wasn't working hard AT ALL. But HGTV was on. And...and...thats what pregnant people do, right? Take it easy. 

     I was feeling pretty proud of myself that I was strong enough to get off my butt, get to the gym, leave my screaming child with a complete stranger in daycare, and walk the flight of stairs up to the treadmills and start my workout. See, doesn't that sound tiring already?

    But here's the thing. About five minutes in, a woman stepped on the treadmill beside me and started running. Of course, I sneakily looked over at her screen to see whether we were gonna be friends or not, because if she was going faster than me, its all over. I saw her screen at 6 mph and instantly felt embarrassed. So I checked her out, to see if maybe she had some love handles or something that could make me not hate her...NOTHING. She looked amazing....and then I heard it.

    A baby crying. Her baby. In his car seat, sitting beside her treadmill. "Uh uh," I told myself, "not friends. She is not allowed to look like that after having a baby." And then it hit me. Why should I hate her? (And I mean that in the secretly jealous kind of way). She is amazing and I should learn her Jedi ways. 

    So we talked for a bit and I found out she was super out-doorzy and loved being pregnant while doing all of those out-doorzy things out-doorzy people do. So awesome. We talked for about 15 min, all while she was still running at 6 mph, and then she left.

    I decided then and there that I have no excuse. Did I mention her baby was only 6 weeks old?? Her body was way more fragile than mine and she was pushing herself, as safely as possible, and not making excuses. 

   So here's to that girl. Can I be that girl...? I am going to try. And the answer to the great, "Workout while pregnant" question is, "Don't take it easy. Take it normal. Work hard, within reason, and love it."

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    I've been hesitant to start this blog because I have to be totally honest about my body, which is something I have always struggled with. But I am going to because I need to and because I know that others need to read what I have to say...so here goes.
    I am 5"6, eight weeks pregnant with my second child, and I weigh 189 lbs.

      That's me right now, in the green cardigan at 193 lbs, soon to find out I am expecting again...

    I calculated my BMI on one of those helpful websites the other day and my BMI was 31, which puts me in the obese category.
Devastated.
   Not that I wasn't aware of my predicament, but when you see yourself labeled in the worst possible category for fitness and health you lose all concept of what you actually think about your body and start thinking of the worst case scenarios.
   Obese AND pregnant...really? Awesome. I guess in other terms you could just categorize my situation as "fat and gonna get fatter". I have to say that I was really hesitant about getting pregnant again because of my weight, but let me first explain how I got to this situation in the first place. (Not the pregnant part, at least...we all went through 7th grade already, right?).
   I began my first pregnancy at 5"6 and 160 lbs.

   That's me in the middle, blue suit, pre-first pregnancy and slightly fake-baked from my wedding!

   Not perfect, but good enough. Soon after I found out I was pregnant, I began talking to friends and family about weight gain during pregnancy. Let me list the five most common things and I heard from women who had been pregnant to help you understand where my mind was.

 1. "You are eating for two now! Have as much as you want."
       Nope. I found out later that if you eat for two, you end up looking like two people stuck in one person's sweat pants after the baby comes.
2. "Oh, I gained 50 lbs with each of my kids and lost it all, don't you worry."
       Uh uh. That is extremely rare and not the norm for most women.
3. "Pregnancy is a time to enjoy yourself..eat what you want."
       Wrong. At least the pairing of those two sentences in the same piece of advice.
4. "You'll lose it all breast-feeding."
       Really? I fully believe in breast-feeding, but most of my friends actually gained weight during that time because they were so hungry.
5. "You probably just have a really big baby in there, I wouldn't worry about your weight."
      I wish. Those cute little babies come out somewhere between 5-9 lbs, not 45-55 lbs.

    So I ended up going from 160 lbs to 215 lbs, a total of 55 lbs the day before my sweet son came and I have been struggling with my weight ever since then.

                                    My gorgeous baby boy, only two weeks old. Isn't he yummy?

   Granted, I took my own bad eating habits and bad food decisions into that pregnancy and I blame no one but myself for my weight gain, but I would have loved hearing this instead:

1. "You are eating for one with a snack on the side."
2. "Shoot for 25 lbs. You can do it!"
3. "Pregnancy is a time to give your body what it needs...eat as healthily as you can!"
4. "Put the work in now so that you can enjoy your body when the baby comes."
5. "Keeping your weight under control will help you love your growing belly, not resent it."
  
    I have seen so many "get your body back" posts out there that assume that you are going to put on more weight than you want but just deal with it later in stead of teaching how to not get to that point in the first place. And I want to also point out that I am not a hater. I think pregnancy is miraculous, divine, and a calling for each woman in this life, but obesity, unfortunately, is not. And the fact that the two have now become linked for me inspired me to write this blog in the first place. So instead of coming across as some pregnancy-hater, I'd like to make it clear that I know there is a better way than what I was told and I'd like to change the pregnancy culture out there right now from "get fat and deal with it" to "work hard and do it right."
   SO here's my point. I want this blog to be a place where I can sort through all the trials and troubles of pregnancy and weight gain from a fresh perspective. I hope other women who are struggling with being overweight and obese while pregnant can read this blog and feel like it is a safe place to really think about what it means to love being pregnant and to not lose yourself in the struggle of weight gain.
   So here's to second chances. :)

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