How to FIND your happy place to finally LOSE that weight!

I posted yesterday about my weight loss on Facebook and a few friends have asked what I've done.

I've actually been wanting to blog about it for a while now, but wanted to wait until I hit 30 lbs first.

 

Here's what I've done.

1. I read a book called Intuitive Eating

I didn't follow their program specifically, but three points that they emphasize CHANGED the way I approach dieting and exercising and made it possible for me to finally commit and succeed.

Here's what I took from it.
-any diet based on deprivation and guilt will fail
-exercise should be a pleasure, not a pain
-you need to be emotionally stable in order to achieve a healthy weight

Let me elaborate.

My thoughts on deprivation/dieting....

Any diet based on deprivation and guilt will fail. That means, if you feel deprived, you're gonna crash, guilt yourself, and give up.

This really made me think....isn't EVERY diet based on deprivation? How am I supposed to lose weight if I don't cut something out?

Then I realized that I needed to find a way to not feel deprived, no matter what diet I chose.

**Intuitive Eating recommends not dieting at all, but just listening to what your body wants and stopping when you are satisfied.

I hope I can get to that stage soon. I do not have the self control just yet to just tell myself "I'm done eating this now" and put it away, but I'm getting there...

So, I decided to calorie count first to teach my body how much it actually needs each day and I've finally been able to start listening to my body more and knowing when I have had enough or need more.

But, if you are needing to lose a large amount of weight(more than 10-15lbs), I say start with some training wheels first. All diets will help you lose weight, so pick one with the goal in mind that you will need to govern yourself without any help eventually.

Just make sure you know what you are getting yourself into, and be aware of which aspects of the diet might make you feel deprived and set a plan for overcoming those feelings or avoiding them entirely.


Here are the most common reasons I start feeling deprived and give up on a diet:

-I get bored of eating the same things over and over again
-I can't eat what everyone around me is eating(big one for me)
-I don't get to indulge a craving when I have it

If you look at diets you've quit over the years, you'll start to see patterns of common deprivation based reasons that you quit.

So, I had to figure out how to counteract these, because they would come up no matter what diet I tried.

Here's what I did/do/am still working on to avoid feelings of deprivation:

I try lots of different types of food. I log my food, so its easy for me to see when I've started eating the same things over and over again.
Like this morning, for example, I ate oatmeal because I have eaten eggs and bagels for breakfast almost every day this week. I knew that I would start feeling deprived, so I chose something I haven't eaten in a while and mixed it up a bit with walnuts and peaches instead of bananas like I used a few weeks ago.

Be creative!

...and what I do to deal with feeling like I can't eat what everyone around me is eating:

This is a really hard one for me.

I used to hate going to parties when I was dieting. I'd either have to bring my own food(too much extra work and takes the fun out of going to a party) or try to avoid eating at all(which was pretty much impossible) or only eat like a stick of celery or something.

I would always end of cheating, feeling really guilty, binging on everything when I got back home, and giving up on whatever diet I was doing a few days later.

Does that sound familiar??:)

Now, I do this instead:

I save up my calories for the party by eating fruits and veggies during the day, or I exercise before/after the party, or I eat what I want at the party and cut extra calories to make up for it the next day.
I've been so much happier doing this instead. Then, I can eat what everyone else is eating and enjoy myself.
I no longer feel like "the fat girl who's on diet" at parties on a dates.

...and what I do when I have cravings:

I eat what I am craving!

If I want chocolate, I eat it. BUT, I only eat what I can "afford".

I heard an analogy for making good choices that really resonates with me because it has to do with my second love, SHOPPING:)

Here it is:
     Start looking at food labels like price tags....is this food a good "deal"? Are you getting your money's worth? Can you "afford" it?

I love this.

It makes so much sense to me, because I am a bargain shopper, so I started looking at food the same way I look at shopping.

For example:
I see my favorite chocolate bar. The entire bar is 850 calories. Yup. I think to myself, "Can I afford this?"(Do I have enough calories left to "pay" for it? If I can, I eat the whole thing.
No guilt whatsoever.

If I can't "afford" it, I decide how much I can afford and either buy a smaller version, which you can usually find, or eat the amount I can "afford" and give the rest away.

My sister bought me a large, Costco chocolate sheet cake for my birthday, per my request, and after my birthday dinner, I was left with almost an entire cake left. I can't even guess how many calories that was!!

I felt really conflicted about what to do...it was MY cake, right? And a gift:) I asked my sister if she would mind if I gave some away to neighbors? She said she didn't, so I cut it up, divided it onto plates and bowls, and gave spent the next two days giving it away!

Thanks to those of you who graciously accepted it!

It was such a break-through for me. I knew that keeping all that cake in my house something I could not afford. It would be way too tempting. So, I kept two pieces and gave the rest away.

Please eat chocolate. Please eat treats.

Just don't eat the whole thing if you can't afford to.

My thoughts on exercise:

Don't do it unless it makes you happy. If you are forcing yourself, you'll fail.

This was a huge breakthrough for me I thought that in order to lose weight, I need to force myself to exercise...which, looking back on it now, seems even sillier to me. If you have to force yourself, it means you don't want to do something.
Plain and simple, right?

Intuitive eating talks about learning to love moving your body.

I love that, too!

If you are moving, you are burning!

Look for activities that get you moving and count those! Playing with your kids, walking around the mall with your husband, those are exercises!

I used to think that if I needed to lose a lot of weight, that I needed to buy an expensive gym membership, get a personal trainer, etc.

They say not to focus on "a good workout", but on a good experience. That means that walking around the mall on a Saturday, or playing with your kids outside are successful exercises. Isn't that great? If you loved your body, and you feel uplifted afterwards, you exercised!! Congrats. :)

I believe that you should only exercise if you look forward to it. If it becomes another check list item or even a source of stress in your life, its counterproductive.

Finally, I saved the best piece of advice for last.

You won't be happy because you have lost weight, you will lose weight because you are happy.

 If you are struggling emotionally, you will struggle physically.

I really believe that.

If you have tried and tried and TRIED every diet and failed. Start by working back words.

Why did you gain the weight in the first place?

I can tell you exactly where each 10-15 extra pounds came from. Marathon recovery, miscarriage, in-law troubles, pregnancy woes, PPD, pregnancy woes, PPD. And there you go. :)

Sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself, and your spouse or loved one(if you feel comfortable) and talk about what has brought the weight on.

Are you feeling overworked? Are you not sleeping well? Are you struggling with depression/anxiety? Are you lonely?

I really, truly believe with all my heart that you'll figure out whats bothering you if you try and DIG DEEP.

After having my son, I knew something wasn't right with me....I didn't feel like myself. And as I started to look back even further, I realized that I had started behaving strangely in college. That's also when I started really struggling with my weight.

Surprise? No, not really....
I saw my doctor and was diagnosed with anxiety.

I started realizing that I had been self-medicating with food since college! Whenever I would feel anxious, I would eat to calm myself down.

Bingo.

Every diet failed because my mind was failing me. Not my willpower. Not my body, my mind.

So, before you decide on a new diet plan, ask yourself this:

Why did I gain this weight in the first place?

And you will set the foundation for a healthy weight loss plan.

Last thought:

Weight loss does not happen easily.

Weight loss does not happen easily.

Weight loss does not happen easily.

It just doesn't.  Its HARD. I still have to re-motivate myself. All. The. Time.

But...I know now why the weight is there, and I'm working on that first, every day. From every angle. I catch myself eating when my anxiety is bad. And I stop. And that made all the difference for me, personally.
And my body is losing weight. Its is going away. Slowly, but surely.

So, don't give up! Love your amazing body and give your mind a makeover first. Then, you're body will have no choice but to come along and enjoy the ride!

Love,
Liz